Sup dinks

Hello, you could say that again but you'd be pretty repetitive wouldn't you now. I'm going to fall asleep soon so if this ends weird it's probably because I'm very tired. Have you ever loved somebody ever need somebody need them bad. Led Zeppelin. I don't like when people post lyrics and quotes from pop culture and don't quote it. People think you're a genius and that you came up with when all you really had was the creativity to copy and paste something or just recall something from Anchor Man. Come on, I think people should either just not post something or actually make something that's fucking original. I don't know I wasn't even planning on talking about this, which is why my blog often fails I think or just never takes off. This was so much easier to do when I going manic you have no idea. I'm just so depressed all the time it's like the treat to being bi-polar is that sometimes you go a little wacky like a cartoon and things that are awesome just come out of you. It's totally the best you guys should all try it out sometime, it's no MMDA or whatever that's called but it's something that makes you feel super human. Dangers include being promiscuous, really that sounds like a plus to me because normally I don't even care that much to even go out and get laid. Because I'd rather prefer to stay in and watch Monk, which women aren't into. I don't really care I'm happy with my life, now I'm doing that kind of thing who is this for really? I might to send this in PDF to a psycho therapist. I'm done I think and no I didn't get a chance to burn Justin Beiber but man he's had a tough go lately with all his successes. Ok goodbye, I wish that I had a following so I could actually plan something every day and what not and have an actually format but maybe someday people (meaning 2)

I want a biscuit breakfast sandwich but where's the gravy?

Ok, this post will likely have nothing to do with the title unless maybe I can't think of a good way to end it. I haven't posted on this in quite sometime and I see my following hasn't changed at all, still just 1 person, I'm okay with that, at least I'm reaching somebody and that's all that really counts (losers in real life often say this but it stings more being a loser on the internet I find). I'm just starting to get back into shape but it's been really hard, there's a McDonald's way too close to my house but I'm making strides to eat healthier meals at home but I often will cave to the temptation (also this time of year they're offering many new items that you just know aren't going to be around forever, so get it while you can). I'm also trying to get in more cardio and I do this by jogging up the stairs in the Subway. The only problem when I started doing this would be I was out of breath by the time I reached the top and I would always end up walking right behind some person who thought I was a deep breathing rapist. But sometimes when they run away I don't feel creepy rather that I'm helping them with their own fitness goals. Where were we? Butter Milk Biscuits. No I really don't want to talk about those but I do like McDonald's commercials celebrating them like they're the next best thing in biscuits but in actuality they're terrible and made my mouth sore from eating them. (It could be possible mine were on the stale side but I'm not that curious or obese enough to give them another shot.)

This is the segment I'm sure you're familiar with my blog. It's something I like to call celebrity gossip speculation. This week I'm going to focus on Justin Beiber, he's been notoriously known for fictitiously operating an underage house of homosexual burlesque from his Los Angeles home. When said reporter contacted him via twitter for a comment Justin declined saying such accusations were completely slander. But I think writing them down makes them truthful so I'm not worried being sued for libel and come on this is the Internet who's ever been sued over that. On a related note go see Justin Bieber's movie if you like being in a room with a 100 screaming pre-pubescent girls (I'm talking to you uncle Gary)

Now for my movie review of the week. Terminator 2: If you haven't seen this movie it's probably time to see it. But please watch this on Netflix because it often gets butchered on TBS. Just a heads up next weeks review is exactly the same but just replace it with Aliens

Valentines day is today so I hope you're all prepared for love or depression whatever the day calls for. Since this is just the beginning of my day I still have some hope that I will find somebody who I won't have to pay to spend time with me. I find the worse thing really is that all the hot crisis nurses at the hospital all have dates on valentines so I always have to pick what's left over. Just kidding but I think I might use that as stand-up tomorrow, I don't know why I'm tell you following that doesn't exist.

Happy Trails

Hey lets go

It's been some time since I've done this but here we go. Stuff has actually happened to me since my last post which was a nice change. I did stand-up wooo! in Niagara Falls another wooo! It was a good time and it was for a competition I'm in and if you want to check out my videos and vote for me here's the link http://www.indiscover.net/Competitor.aspx?ID=10222&sms_ss=facebook if you can handle that. I think it went pretty well but it was outdoors and it was really hard to hear laughter even though I was told I did well. You can be the judge if you go and check that link out. The only sucky thing about the gig was you couldn't swear and be vulgar which is a huge damper for many stand-up comedians, but I did a completely clean set and I didn't swear so I guess that I should be proud of myself? I feel like a sell-out just kidding but if the ghost of George Carlin happened to be there (I heard he like the Falls, untrue fact) I just wish that I would have snuck one F bomb into my set. Anyways, I also saw Weezer in concert it was pretty cool except for the fact I left early because I was tired. Since when did people get so tall? That's what I wondered while I watched struggling to see the stage or maybe I'm of below average height. There was this drunk guy who liked to dance and kept bumping into me, I didn't care for that very much because if it was me acting like a pissed up monkey I'd stop bumping after the first time and maybe just stand there and enjoy the music. Nope not the case with this guy but with all of that Weezer prevailed and I still had a good time. I ended moving to the non-drinking side and I had a better view and there were no drunk fools to contend with. I've been a drunk fool so I guess that I somewhat understand. The other thing I did was go see Russell Peters that was pretty awesome he doesn't ever fail to make me laugh. I think I might have blogged about it. My Mom thinks comedians just take other comedians jokes so she was like "So, you'll have plenty of material after this?" No not the case and I don't people would like it very much if a red head went around telling jokes about Indians and Lebanese. I think Russell Peters is one of the few people who can do race material really well. The only downside to his material that I saw was even it was all brand new it played so similar to his old stuff that it didn't feel like he was doing new stuff. Now if I can ever get someone to pay $70 to see me I'll be set (unless only 2 people show up and one is my mom and she won't have to pay) I'm more of PWYC comedian. That's enough from me I think and remember to vote if you read this and you can vote everyday. Thanks and Love

what is up today?

What is happening Internet? It's cool to think the whole entire Internet can view this but they probably won't. I actually worked at a job today not for very long though. Nothing funny happened at work but I had ability to be completely unaccountable to customers, "No sir I don't know where the staplers are" I'm not stupid I'm just ignorant to the job I'm doing. I'm not doing the job I thought I'd be doing so that kind of sucks but it's a job and they're taking it easy on me. My lap is getting warm from my lap top. These things should come with a warning "May make you slightly uncomfortable" it could save lives. I don't know why I'm even writing about that I'm just trying to find something in the mean time to write about. The heat is really bothering me and I didn't sleep much last night. I guess it doesn't matter how much I write it's the quality and this hasn't been great. This will get better is and I think my previous posts were good. I really want to pull the plug on this and abort it like the unwanted child it is, but I'm lazy and I will post this.

I decided to come back and make this a little bit better. Did anyone see the article where this guy mooned a group of hells angels and then threw a puppy I know it happened a few weeks ago but I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. Apparently he also tried to flee the scene on bulldozer or something like that and held up a serious amount of traffic on a highway while doing it. The guy was suffering from depression and I guess this was his way of at least making me feel better. This news article is probably my favourite thing I've heard in a while. You just have to expect if this guy went to jail he'd be sharing a cell with an animal activist and a Hell Angels biker that would be hilarious. I wonder if maybe he thought the Hell Angels would kill him and this was his suicide plan but after throwing a puppy he was all like "I have something to live for now and I think that I'll escape on a fucking bulldozer!" It's weird because I've went through depression and I've never wanted to bare my ass to scary bikers or fling a helpless puppy instead I just didn't get out of the house very much and complained that I didn't do anything different or special with my life, I guess I was misdiagnosed maybe I didn't have depression after all. That is pretty much all I have to say about that, I hope you enjoyed it.

K

Still Just 1

Woo! Still Just 1 person subscribing to this I really need to start blogging about the Twilight saga. I don't have a girlfriend so I probably won't have to ever see a Twilight film but anything is possible. I was just having a chill day and I didn't really do much today I skipped out on playing hockey and going to the gym, instead I just stayed inside my non air conditioned house and just sweated it all away. I don't know if it's the heat but I don't have a lot to talk about today except of course Twilight. I'm ginger so I'm pale like a vampire yet no women are calling me sexy it just doesn't connect for some reason. I'm worried about over heating because I'm on medication and I'm apparently not supposed to get hot, I'm also "supposed" to take food with my medication but I just take it without sometimes anyway. If you don't hear from me for awhile I probably have sun stroke. That would suck a lot. At least it's not as bad a regular stroke that shit can kill you. So you're probably wondering Edward or Jacob and my answer is Fuck You! Thanks that's all I have please again check out my video if you get the chance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b77ajyRHLcI

I will try to write more next time and hopefully make it more entertaining.

Hello Again

This blog is now in colour, ah please make it stop! Ok done but that was a close one. I wonder how I can advertise this blog so more people can read it. I'm not sure why I'd want that it feels so much safer knowing nobody reads this. But I wanted to get my self out there and self-promote and I was having a talk with my mom on how I could become more popular and I didn't really listen to what she had to say. Remember when there was colour that was pretty cool right? Good news Internet I was in this comedy contest and I made their cut so I will be going to Niagara Falls (the good Canadian side) to perform my stand-up. The only problem is I need a ride there because I don't trust my car at all and I've never driven that far on my own. I'm 24 and that shouldn't be an excuse but I really only drive in the city and I'm not used to 4 hour drives. I'm not sure the contest is worth it because it's not for money and it's just for the publicity of being on TV. I think it would be cool however to have a blog that gets enough reads that I start making Google Adsense money that would make me happy to just get a check from Google. The Internet has given me so much like Kitties Flushing Toilets, Facebook and of course this but I still want more. I have a YouTube account and I'm flustered to know that my videos don't get hits and the only people I can get to watch my videos are my friends if I happen to post the video on Facebook. I think that I prefer to put up videos on Facebook anyway just because I won't have to deal with trolls commenting on my stuff but I guess the same could happen here. So, maybe I'm lucky that I have so much obscurity that there aren't people dissing me. Colour again this time it's red. And were back. Or are we? I've had enough. I didn't have anything really planned to say today but I actually got a job today and that was pretty cool no more unemployment. It's only part-time so I'll have plenty of time to still do lots of nothing and play Super Mario Galaxy 2. Now there's a pretty good game, I'm about half way done now but the game but it's getting much harder I definitely recommend it anyone with a Wii. I was hoping my content was going to be better but here we are nothing has really got me going today. I think my creativity is low because I'm stuck in Sarnia Ontario for another 2 months. I'm not sure if moving back to Toronto will help me but I'm willing to give it a try. I'm looking forward to hopefully having cheap rent that would be nice because after taking 2 years in Comedy Writing and Performance hasn't improved my employ ability at all. That's all folkers (I didn't feel like actually cursing)

Here's my stand-up video again if you want to check out my stuff. Thanks
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b77ajyRHLcI

Ok here we go again

Hey Internet it's been a long time since of I've done the whole blogging thing. I don't really care if this post gets to many people because I'm still shaky on it's content. I'm currently at home and really bored this summer and I want to head back to the big city of Toronto so I can pursue a career in comedy. I thought this blog would be a good way to get my thoughts out there and hopefully some of them are humourous. Here's a clip of me doing stand-up, I'd like to see if this can help you my videos on youtube get more hits or whatever the kids are calling them. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b77ajyRHLcI
Please check it out if you want to laugh for at least 5 minutes. I'm trying to develop new material right now and that's kind of hard without an audience so I figure when I'm ready I could type in my jokes here and wonderful Internet people could get back to me with their responses. I'm sure this blog will pick up some momentum and I'll make sure to post videos as I go along.
Today is Canada Day and that's awesome I enjoyed some Canadian food today, yep I had spring rolls in the park with plum sauce mind you. I currently don't drink so I'm definitely missing out on the fun that goes along with Canada Day but it's not on a weekend so I'm assuming that people aren't getting to hammered today. I went out with my mom and which meant we spent the majority of our time talking to old people about the surgeries they either had or the ones they're going to have. So that was a blast. I think it's still probably better than what protesters went through during G20 because that shit was crazy. I'm hoping my liberties are safe in Sarnia Ontario because I'm going to have Swiss Chalet for dinner and nobody better take that right away from me. A man's got to eat as most you've read probably or have seen in popular sitcoms. I think that I'm done now there isn't too much that was on my mind today but check out that video it's definitely more entertaining then the words I've written unless you really like words. Bye